I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
