I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
