He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
