Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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