We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
