Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
