i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
