i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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