What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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