before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
