I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
