absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i've created a new STD.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
