soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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