im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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