if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
