week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
