How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
