Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
