There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Farmville is her only friend.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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