I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
