OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
