Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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