If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
