i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
