Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
