I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
