so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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