yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize