dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This toilet bowl is my home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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