the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
