You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
