I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
