Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
