I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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