Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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