You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
