I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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