What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
