and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
