Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
