Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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