she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We have started to decorate penises.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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