Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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