covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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