Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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