Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize