My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
