clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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