I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dignity is for republicans.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
