My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
