not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
