My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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