It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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