can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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