She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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