Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
