And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
