I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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