I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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