I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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