you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
