Your dad touched me again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
