i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
