I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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