Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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