I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
tell me about the eggs
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
